JAQQQLN

Hi, I am Jaqueline, a hot bitch from Washington. I am 6'3" and my teeth are kinda bad. When I was really young, I said the word "ass" in front of my grandparents because I was curious how they'd react. It went pretty much as expected. Before that, I jumped into a box of coathangers to see what it was like. I was a curious child. In fourth grade I was transferred to a special-needs class because I had no respect for authority. I think I remember having a substitute teacher whom I didn't like for some reason so I just spent the whole class giving her the finger. I'm not exactly proud of that moment. But you know, kids have no idea how bad teachers have it. I mean, they got their own problems. Like when we were learning how to square dance and I was one of the 6 kids who couldn't get a dance partner. I've been thinking lately about how moments like that have probably fucked me up more than I realize. I have no idea how to dance these days, but I like to do it anyway. I'm like the only person who ever dances at the concerts I go to. What is it with white people and standing still at concerts anyway. But I haven't been to a concert in a while. Even before the pandemic, I just kinda fell out of it. The last one I saw was a Nine Inch Nails concert shortly after I moved to Minneapolis. Boy howdy was moving there a huge mistake. Literally everything went wrong as soon as that happened. But maybe I shouldn't blame the city. It didn't do it on purpose. And it has nice things. Like the band Semisonic. You know that band still has fun and plays music despite how fleeting their success was? The same goes for Fastball. Those bands sure handled it like champs. I wish I were more like that. But I'm just not wired that way. The instant I lose, like, ten fans, and I completely lose my shit. Of course, over the past few years I lost around 20,000 fans and I gotta say I'm not sure how I survived that. Maybe I didn't. Maybe I'm still dying on the floor with blood spurting everywhere, dreaming this whole paragraph like in that one movie... you know... Scrubs! But anyway I'm sorry about my teeth. I have horrible depression. And horribly depressed people tend to not take good care of their teeth. Look, it's not an excuse, you think I like having a nasty mouth? Well, maybe I do a little but, anyway now that I'm working regularly I try to brush more regularly, because that kind of thing tends to be a successful incentive to me, for some reason. Yes, I work now. I test games for the Xbox. Yeah, not the most high-tier job in the game industry but I found it surprisingly fun and fulfilling so far. Too bad the pay is shit, otherwise it'd be perfect. But still, it's been good. It's made me less worried about my financial situation anyway. But it leaves little time for comics or gamemaking or whatever else. Y'all know how draining a job can be, and throw in someone as old and dysfunctional as me and it's like goodbye hobbies. Yayyyy. I dunno. I like to think I'll be able to draw again but I sure as fuck can't do it now. It doesn't help that I'm pretty disillusioned with comics too. I'm not quite disillusioned with videogames, but dang if videogame stuff doesn't take a lot more work than comics. It's more than I can handle. Like I said, I'm old. And autistic. And horny. But most of all, I have a nutcracker collection I started on since I was around 9 years old. Is 9 right? 9 sounds about right. That was 1986. Like I said: OLD. 1986 was the year the Nintendo Entertainment System came out in America, so it was a pretty good year. I was also sent to the special needs class that year, and you may notice I haven't talked much about that. My favorite anime is G Gundam... but maybe it's Dragon Half. I just like goofy cute things. I'm old, but I refuse to act my age. I think "acting your age" is a boomer thing. Over to the right are various projects I worked on, and most of them are unfinished. Because I always had trouble finishing things. As I'm sure you've assumed, I got massive executive dysfunction. I realize now that there were a few projects I got help on and then just ghosted people because I got distracted and scared and ran off and forgot about things.... like that one porn webcartoon I was working on. I had people like Egoraptor and Faye Mata willing to help me on that one! And I just silently walked away from it! Man, I fucked up so many things. What the fuck, man. No wonder my life is such garbage now. At least I have Cookie Clicker.  I have almost all the achievements in that, but dang the ones involving sugar lumps are gonna take forever. I mean, you need *does math* 990 total?? and with the active buff the game generates about *more math* 8-9 per week? Then there's the 10 you get for farming, which maybe can be done once every 2 weeks if you're somewhat diligent. so roughly 54 per month. 54 out of 990 is *math* 18 months so a year and a half to get all the Cookie Clicker achievements? Hmm. Could be worse, but I don't